Assessing What's Wrong Whether it be a potential patient consulting their potential new therapist, or a friend in need of help, both will complain - in their own way - about the intrusive effects of anxiety, depression, stress and or frustration.

It is invaluable for you to be as informed as you can be about the many facets of stress and anxiety. While most of us know precisely how these emotional states feel there are still many facets which are less commonly known or treated with the respect they deserve.

What Is Stress?

Stress is the feeling of tension that fills the gap between that which is sought after versus what one actually has. Thus it is the tension between being and desiring. There are countless occasions in daily living that people experience stress, especially during the holiday season.

A few common examples: When driving on the highway after a long day at work encountering a 'crazy' driver purposefully cutting you off and all your attempts to get rid of him fail there is often a growing tension experienced as frustrated aggression. If this frustrated aggression persists it can and often does escalate into 'road rage.'

Another example of stress in the workplace is a worker who has been a dedicated employee but despite following all the rules is passed over a desired promotion because of office politics. The disappointment of missed expectations results is experienced as frustrated aggression known simply as stress. Associated missed expectations such as the worker feeling trapped having no viable alternatives can compound the intensity of stress.

Imagine crossing a street and seeing an out of control car heading straight for you. Instinctively the autonomic nervous system releases adrenalin into the system creating a shock to the system (fear) to mobilize the system to remain frozen or run like hell to avoid the anticipated crash. Now imagine the same conditions. Except this time when it seems like a car is out of control threatening to hit you - you correctly observe there is no car at all - in fact there are no traffic at all. Clearly, in this case, your imagination is working overtime. But you still have the released adrenalin flowing into your system warning you that there is some sort of threat which you had better take steps to protect yourself from.

In this case - since there is no 'real' threat then you have to locate the source of the imagined out of control car hurtling down on you coming from your memory. In my work as a psychoanalyst both personally and professionally virtually every anxiety attack, when analyzed (broken down to its components) can be traced to a traumatic occurrence in the history of the patient in question that has not been sufficiently put to rest. This means that something in the here and now has somehow connected with and stirred up an unresolved psychological problem from the persons past.

All anxiety attacks have a potentially identifiable trigger which is associated in the context of a given person's life in the last 24 to 48 hours. Family is a great example of what we call a 'stressor'.

Thus what becomes crucial in coping with them is our attitude towards them. Viewing them as uninvited house guests leads to the following typical attitudes. Many people feel anxious about feeling anxious, depressed because they are depressed, and frustration that they are experiencing frustration.

The most important thing you will have to do to manage your stress is discover the missing link in relieving stress and anxiety.