Peer Pressure is stronger than you think. Our teens spend more waking hours of their days directly interacting with their peers than they do with their family members. This interactive influence is more powerful than the influence of teachers, parents, or other authority figures in the teen's life. These peers with whom teens associate have a dramatic affect on the perspectives our teens hold and the decisions that our teens make.
Today's teens are connected with their peers 24/7. It seems as though most teens are tethered to their mobile multimedia phones. They can text to their friends on a continuous and instantaneous basis, make telephone calls, photo-document their activities, listen to their favorite tunes, and surf the web as they sit in classes, visit restaurants, watch movies, or attend any other events. For many teens, the last thing that they do before turning in at night and the first they do when they awaken is check their messages from their mobile device. Who are these teens communicating with on such a constant basis? Their peers. Trying to fit in to a group of peers can increase the stress in teens.
The peers that a teen surrounds herself with is extremely important for her well-being. When a teen is involved with individuals who are making good decisions and who are involved with positive activities, the teen becomes motivated to follow this positive pattern. But the opposite can also be the case. Peer pressure can have a dangerous and negative effect on a teen who has low self esteem. A teen with low self esteem is more likely to be a follower, who is trying to fit into the group and be liked by its members. A teen with low self esteem may be more likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol, sex, shop lifting, skipping school or other high-risk behaviors. Sudden changes in behavior, appearance, or attitude may indicate that your teen is becoming involved with negative peer pressure. Peer pressure increases stress for these teens. Watch the changes in friends that your teen associates with and notice if there is secretive behavior. Any of these signs may indicate that the peer pressure in your teen's life is becoming negative.
Three Ways that a Parent Can Assist a Teen With Peer Pressure
1. Help you child develop a strong sense of values.
As your child grows, make certain that she knows what is expected from her. It is easier for her to say that she can not participate in something she does not want to do because she says her parents will not allow her to do it. By establishing values about what is right and wrong, the teen will have a sense of what Stephen Covey calls "true north." He says that the term, "true north" describes an inner compass that helps us understand where we are, where we want to go, and how to get there. As parents, help your teen create an inner compass that empowers her to align her life with it. The compass helps her use her values to define the difference between right and wrong. The teen may still use poor judgment and make poor decisions because of peer pressure, but it will be easier to survive the peer pressure during adolescence and return to the established direction of the inner compass and mature into a productive young adult.
2. Help your child learn how to set goals for herself.
Goal setting is an important skill that any individual should possess in order to do well in life. Goals establish identifiable achievements to work towards. Reaching goals allows the individual to be successful and feel the rewards of accomplishment. The goal might be finishing a difficult school assignment, making a sports team, getting into a specific college, or landing a job. Goals help give your teen a reason to strive and help the teen stay focused when there is peer pressure to stray off course. Goals help teens maintain their priorities, stay focused, and achieve positive results.
Be available to listen and to encourage positive self esteem.
Without getting in the way of your child's social interactions, be ready to respond to your teen's discussions about friends, activities, and decisions that she is making. Remember that you are the parent and not just another friend. Your teen has lots of friends but needs you to be the parent. That can mean setting the parameters for what she can and can not do. As a parent, model the type of life you want your teen to live. Talking with your teen and modeling healthy behavior will go a long way in making certain the peer pressure does not increase the stress for your teen.
