Before reading on, do spend some time going through the under-mentioned four questions and see if you can identify with any of them.

Question 1

Do you feel a constant pressure to achieve and be the best?

Question 2

Do you have to be in control all the time?

Question 3

Do you feel that you can never be as good in doing something as other people?

Question 4

Does your self-esteem depend on how others perceive of you?

If you have answered yes to any of the above questions, don't worry. This article was written to help you.

At this juncture, I think some, if not most of you might already have guessed the theme of this article. Yes, I'll be teaching you how to manage stress and how to make stress work for you.

We complain about stress everyday. But what exactly is stress?

Stress is the feeling of tension or anxiety we feel under certain conditions. Or as others might put it, the "war and tear" of our bodies.

Contrary to popular belief that there are 101 factors that cause stress, simply thinking of these 101 factors will already make you stressed. So, forget about them. I'm telling you now that there are only four stress-building reasons, which are related to the four questions which I posed at the very beginning of this article.

Let's review the questions again.

Question 1 - Do you feel a constant pressure to achieve and be the best?

Are you trying to be like Tina Turner who goes "simply the best, better than all the rest, better than anyone else, anyone I've ever met"?

If you acknowledge this, I hereby pronounce you guilty of the first charge of trying to be perfect.

No one in this world is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Instead of criticising yourself for not being perfect, just remember that there will always be people who are better than you and there will always be people who are worse than you. Don't compare yourself with others. Just do what you must do and do you best.

Question 2 - Do you have to be in control all the time?

If 'yes', you are guilty of the second charge of trying to be strong.

To you, any lack of control is a sign of weakness or failure. As such, you are constantly putting yourself in a tight position, with no room for flexibility at all. Relax, let others take the lead. It might be good to be a follower sometimes.

Question 3 - Do you feel that you can never be as good in doing something as other people?

Answering 'yes' would deliver the third charge of trying to be careful.

In your bid to be extra careful, you give up the forest for the trees. You take great care of the minor aspects but neglect the major aspects, allowing them to stress you later.

Question 4 - Does your self-esteem depend on how others perceive of you?

A 'yes' would man that you are guilty of the fourth charge of trying to be popular.

It seems that you live for the sake of others. You are better at caring for others than caring for yourself. In order to avoid displeasing others, you hide your negative feelings, allowing them to come out at full force later to stress you.

'Yes' answers to all these four charges indicate road-blocks to a tress-free life.

There is no way we can eliminate stress. What is more important is to know how to make stress work for us.

Thinking on the brighter side, stress does have positive effects. Positive stress adds an element of anticipation and excitement to life. We all thrive under a certain amount of stress. Datelines, assignments, competitions and presentations add depth and enrichment to our lives. Stress is essential for life. People moan daily about feeling stressed. Yet imagine a life without stress. Imagine having nothing to do or think about for the whole day. How boring it would be. How stressful it would be to get by every minute.

Stress levels increase when you are concentrating on your most alarming thoughts. But stress levels fall when you turn your attention away from these areas. Thus, an advice as to how to reduce the level of stress in your life would be to actively turn away from negative stress building thoughts and focus on the positive stress busting thoughts.

An example of a stress builder would be this.

"I'll never get this project done in time."

Don't say this. Think positive. Create a stress buster and tell yourself this instead.

"If I stay focused and take it one step at a time, I'll make steady progress."

Add stress busters to your life.

Instead of stressing yourself and be reminded that the examinations are less than say one week away, create a stress buster. Think positive. Motivate yourself by thinking of the long holidays after the examinations. Think of the vacation you will be going for. Think of the part-time job you will be getting and the extra income it would give. Or better still, take it one step further. Think of all the good grades you will be getting for all your modules.

So the next time you feel stressed, don't. Just turn your attention away from the stress building thoughts and create stress busters.